Expressing her disapproval of the woman her son wishes to marry, the mother of a blended family went on Reddit, begging users for advice.
Voicing her concerns, the mother says she’s “sick and angry” that her son is tying the knot with a girl, whom he first played with as a toddler in daycare.
And though the woman loves the object of her son’s affections, she refuses to offer her blessings to the couple, who have been stepsiblings since they were about four.“”””
A woman, desperate for advice, shared her story on the ‘Am I the A**hole’ subreddit, detailing a complicated situation with her son and the woman he loves.
Offering some background information, the woman explains Nathan, as a two-year-old, met a little girl named Abby while at daycare. Abby had been abandoned by her biological mother and left in the care of her father, Jack.
“Her dad, Jack, was one of the only other single parents there,” the original poster (OP) writes, explaining the beginnings of the bond she formed with the father. “[We] ended up dating for a year and a half before getting married, and we had our daughter Eliza less than a year later.”
Navigating the emotional complexities of stepparenting, the author says her and her husband adopted the other’s child, and raised all three kids together, reminding each of them their valuable positions in the family.
The OP writes, “Though they knew that Nathan had a different dad and Abby had a different mum, we had never thought to question if they saw each other as siblings.”
Platform to bond
Apparently, the blended family environment provided the space for Nathan and Abby to grow a deep connection beyond siblings.
“Abby and Nathan sat Jack and I down and told us that they had something important to say. Abby started in about how for the past few years her and Jack had been in a romantic relationship. She said that it happened after they were both adults, that they had gone to relationship counselling when it first started and that they were seriously thinking about marriage,” shares the author, who later adds the counselor was unaware the two were siblings.
She continues, “Nathan then told us that they had admitted to having feelings for each other as teenagers, but had never acted on it because they were afraid of ruining their friendship, hurting each other, and most of all what we would think.”
Family divided
Unfortunately, the parents were divided on their reactions.
Noting that Nathan and Abby “look happy together,” Jack, the OP explains, apologized to the kids for keeping them apart, then “grabbed my hand and hugged our children.”
Meanwhile, the mother – shocked over the news – “just got up and left.”
“My husband is right, they do look happy together. In fact, I’ve never seen my son or daughter happier. But I just can’t accept this. I haven’t responded to any of their messages or calls, and pretended I wasn’t home when they tried to visit during the day.”
In addition to her crumbling relationship with her son and stepdaughter, the woman says that since the confession, she reached an impasse with her husband.
“I’ve been fighting with Jack since this happened, even so far as telling him that if it were my choice they would never have my blessing, and I would put them both in therapy for having incestuous desires. This really upset him, and the fighting got so bad that I had him sleep in the guest house.”
Responding to her criticism of the stepsiblings’ intimate affair, the woman says Jack called her a “bad mother,” and threatened divorce, where he would fight for “full custody of Eliza (she’s 17) and how he would ‘take me to the cleaners’ if I didn’t accept our children.”
She adds, “I’ve never fought my husband. I have no idea how to navigate this, and every time I think about it, their whole relationship just makes me sick and angry. That being said, I know I’m hurting my children. I know I’m hurting my husband.”
Before asking Redditors “AITA for refusing to accept my son’s relationship with his step-sister?” the woman shares the family is communicating again, and going to therapy with the hopes of finding a peaceful resolution.
‘Mind is boggled’
The majority of Redditors support the mother’s disapproval, suggesting the kid’s relationship is akin to incest.
“Both my siblings and I are adopted and every time someone says ‘well they aren’t biologically related so it isn’t technically incest,’ I throw up in my mouth a little,” writes one user.
A second shares, acknowledging the disturbing fact shared by the mother, “Nathan and Abby were raised as siblings since they were toddlers and share a sibling not much younger than them…They were raised as brother and sister, and while they don’t share blood, they do have a sister together. I think your reaction is completely normal and justified.”
Meanwhile, others considered how their relationship would impact their little sister, Eliza.
“Can you imagine Eliza in the future? ‘Yes my biological brother and my biological sister are married.’ That’s messed up for her,” a third netizen offers.
Another cyber fan argues that Jack is the a******: “Even if op did work through it and eventually accepted it, my mind is boggled that the husband was like, ‘yup, this is normal and if you don’t accept this by morning there will be a divorce.’”
